Innies and Outies

Before you go checking belly buttons... We're going to talk a little about different personality types in gifted children. If your child is an extrovert, there is no mistaking it. They are the outspoken, busy butterflies, who flutter from topic to topic hardly pausing for a breath. An introvert on the other hand, prefers to sit back and observe it all, quietly drawing conclusions from all that unfolds before them.

Extrovert, gifted children can be exhausting at times. They overflow with worries, ideas, joys, questions, and fears. No thought or feeling is too small that it shouldn't be vocalized and thoroughly explored. As inundating as this bombardment may feel to the parent, I suspect it is equally as overwhelming to a young, gifted extrovert who may not understand how to deal with the variety of emotions that they are feeling.

On the other hand, a gifted introvert may hold much of this information inside. This may alleviate the overwhelmed parent, but likely not the child. Considering the depth of emotions and feelings that gifted children deal with, this may not be the healthiest scenario for an introvert. Take some time to talk with your child about their feelings. Encourage them to share their feelings with you and applaud them as they grow and learn how to work through their emotions successfully.

Intelligence at a price

One child described being gifted as being "vividly alive". Imagine being so keenly aware of everything around you. However, as I mentioned before, that heightened awareness comes with a price, and the higher the IQ, the higher the price tag.

Over excitability and sensitivity were two of the first clues that I was raising two gifted children. I love Webster's definition of excitability- "capable of being activated by and reacting to stimuli; a state of excitement or irritability". It fits perfectly, since there is rarely an in between for gifted children. They are either vividly happy, vividly sad, vividly angry, and the list goes on. Couple this with a deeper sensitivity to stimuli and situations than that seen in most children, and you might find yourself wondering, "What's going on with my child?"

Gifted children may find it difficult at times to find the "even ground" emotionally, especially when they are very young. Things like crowds, loud noises, music, or any kind of environment that is overly stimulating may evoke feelings that your child is unsure how to handle. If you find yourself in this situation, here are a few things that have worked for us.

• Teach your child self-calming skills. This may even involve you physically sitting with your child in a quiet place when you recognize them getting over the edge.
• Recognize what triggers your child's over-excitability so that you are better prepared.
• Make sure you are consistent with rules and consequences when your child crosses the line with their behavior.
• Even if your friends or family don't understand, remember that you are not alone.

I would love to hear from some of you. Have you found any great ways of helping your children work through these issues?

Why can't they just slow down?

Today's post will have absolutely nothing to do with music (I'm apologizing in advance), but I wanted to continue with my series on giftedness in young children. As a teacher, one of the things that amazes me is the fact that there seems to be so many gifted children these days. I am, by no means, an expert, but it seems like there are more children being given this label than ever before. Perhaps it is because there is more research available, which enhances awareness and earlier identification of these children. Perhaps it is that we have better health and medical care during pregnancy than before, which leads to stronger brain development in the womb. Maybe it is because we offer a greater array of experiences to our children than our parents did, or it could be a combination of all of these items. I would love to read a study about it, but I'm not sure that the subject of giftedness has been studied long enough to adequately answer this question yet.

However, it is widely agreed that giftedness comes from a combination of good genes and the experiences offered to the child. In other words, a biologically gifted child increases their IQ or abilities by drawing on life experiences. You will typically see this child asking lots of "how" and "why" questions as well as actively exploring everything around them. They are keen observers and are often able to understand things well beyond their years. Unfortunately, all of this sensory input comes with a price- emotional sensitivity and over-excitability.

It was once explained to me like this. We all have an "inner cup" that receives the sensory input we observe. Once this cup is full, we feel overwhelmed and will react in order to relieve that stress. Every one's cup is the same size, but the fact that a gifted child has a heightened sense of awareness allows them to fill their "cup" much faster than the average person. This can result in a variety of behavioral issues, and I plan to talk more about this in my next post.